The relationship between parents and children with ADHD requires sensitivity, patience, and understanding. Family communication plays a critical role in building the self-confidence of children with ADHD and helping them unlock their potential. When raising a child, understanding their emotional needs and responding appropriately is crucial.
In this article, I will share strategies for improving the parent-child relationship with ADHD children, based on my experiences as an individual with ADHD and insights from my coaching practice. The parent-child relationship is powerful enough to leave a lasting impact on a child’s world and provides a solid foundation for ADHD children to embrace themselves.
Inviting the Child into the Relationship
Children with ADHD may feel a deep sense of insecurity about themselves due to negative messages from their surroundings. One of the most effective ways to reduce this insecurity is to actively invite the child into the relationship.
This does not simply mean spending physical time with the child. It involves genuinely appreciating their presence and filling the time spent together with true connection. Children with ADHD perceive their parents’ presence not just through words but also through their energy and attitude. Therefore, earning the child’s friendship and making them feel valued should be the foundation of the parent-child relationship.
For example, while playing games or working on a project together, being entirely “present” allows the child to feel accepted. Ensure that the moments you spend with your child show how much you value their presence.
Support Instead of Criticism
Children with ADHD often think of themselves as “inadequate” or “flawed,” especially when frequently criticized. However, as parents, we need to consider the tone and timing of our criticisms and their impact on children.
Instead of adopting a judgmental attitude toward a child’s mistake, empathizing with the situation and adopting a solution-oriented approach is essential. Minimizing criticism during family communication allows the child to express themselves without feeling shame or rejection.
For instance, you might say, “You worked really hard on this, but perhaps we could try another method,” using warm and encouraging language to boost your child’s confidence.
Using Praise Wisely
While appreciating the efforts of children with ADHD is important, excessive praise can lead them to base their self-worth solely on their achievements. When a child feels their parents only value their successes, it can negatively affect their self-acceptance process.
Instead, focus on highlighting the child’s efforts and emotions. For example, you could say, “You really worked hard on this, and you should be proud of your effort,” to help the child develop awareness of their own accomplishments. This approach encourages the child to value their efforts rather than rely on external validation.
Avoid Parenting with Anger
The emotional sensitivities of children with ADHD can be triggered when faced with an angry parent. A parent’s tone, body language, and negative words can have long-lasting effects on a child. In such moments, controlling your anger and maintaining your bond with your child is crucial.
As a parent, when you experience emotional outbursts, you can take steps to prevent your child from being affected. For example, taking a break during an argument and addressing the situation calmly later will strengthen your relationship with your child.
Taking Responsibility for Repairing the Relationship
The parent-child relationship can sometimes experience disruptions. However, it is the parent’s responsibility to repair the relationship afterwards. Children with ADHD reconnect with their parents through love and understanding. During this process, empathizing with the child’s emotions and allowing them to express themselves is essential.
After a conflict, rather than expecting your child to apologize, take the first step to repair your relationship. This shows your child that your bond with them is more important than anything else.
Key Points for Communicating with ADHD Children
Establish Consistent Routines: Routines provide a sense of security for children with ADHD. Planning daily activities in advance can help your child feel more organized.
Be a Listener: Listening to your child’s thoughts and emotions without judgment makes it easier for them to express themselves.
Give Positive Feedback: While presenting constructive criticism, make sure to highlight your child’s strengths.
Spend Quality Time Together: Ensure that the time spent with your child is meaningful. This strengthens your bond.
Support Their Confidence: Appreciate your child’s efforts and emotions to enhance their self-esteem.
- Get support: In order to communicate properly with your child, it is important that you get to know both your child and yourself better and that you grow and develop together with your child. For this, you can get support from behavioural therapy and an ADHD coach.
Conclusion
Raising a child with ADHD can sometimes be a challenging journey for parents. However, with the right approaches and strong family communication, it is possible to make this process more meaningful and productive. The parent-child relationship plays a vital role in a child’s self-discovery and realizing their potential.
Remember, your child’s ADHD is not a barrier but a difference that, with proper guidance, can lead to great accomplishments. While raising your child with understanding, patience, and love, cherish every moment. Among the most important things to consider when raising a child is enabling them to accept themselves.
