Self-sabotage refers to the conscious or unconscious blocking of one’s own potential and achievements. In individuals with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), this situation may become more complex because mental processes combine with environmental factors to deepen self-sabotage. Negative judgements, especially during childhood and adolescence, become a voice echoing in the minds of individuals, and this voice can continue its effect for years.
Individuals with ADHD may tend to sabotage themselves especially in career, education and social relationships. This is associated with the core symptoms of ADHD, such as attention problems, impulsivity and procrastination behaviours. Due to previous bad experiences, individuals sabotage themselves consciously or unconsciously due to the fear of failing and what people around them will say and think about them, with the effect of a lack of self-confidence.
Self Sabotage: The Effect of Echoing Voices
Individuals with ADHD are frequently exposed to criticism from their family, teachers, relatives and environment since childhood. Sentences such as ‘You cannot pay attention’, ‘Why are you unsuccessful in your lessons?’, ‘You should be more organised’ cause the individual to develop a negative inner voice about himself/herself over time. Whether the individual is aware of it or not, this inner voice affects their behaviour for years and starts a cycle of self-sabotage.
This cycle, which starts in childhood, may turn into negative thought patterns in adolescence and adulthood and may lead to negative feelings such as lack of self-confidence, and feeling worthless or inadequate. Individuals with ADHD are likely to have difficulty in achieving their career goals due to procrastination behaviour and internal negative discourses.
Why People Sabotage Themselves?
Self-sabotage is usually caused by dysfunctional thoughts and beliefs that the individual has developed in the past. For individuals with ADHD, this situation may become more complex. Traumatic experiences in childhood, constant criticism and the desire for acceptance may cause the individual to feel inadequate.
Common reasons behind self-sabotage are:
- Fear: Fear of failure or criticism can immobilise the individual.
- Emotional Suppression: Suppressing feelings instead of expressing them damages an individual’s self-esteem in the long run.
- Distorted Beliefs: Thoughts such as ‘I don’t deserve this anyway’ or ‘If I succeed, people may not like me’ may cause the individual to develop self-destructive behaviours.
Symptoms of Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage can manifest in many ways in individuals with ADHD. These include the following:
- Procrastination: Procrastinating is one of the most common symptoms of self-sabotage. Individuals with ADHD often have difficulty taking the first step due to perfectionism or fear of failure.
- Underestimation of Own Potential: Thoughts such as ‘I am not good enough to do this’ or ‘I am already unsuccessful’ will erode the individual’s self-confidence and prevent him/her from utilising new opportunities.
- Mental Fatigue and Thought Excess: The minds of individuals with ADHD are usually occupied with many thoughts at the same time. This situation triggers self-sabotaging behaviour by increasing the already existing lack of motivation.
- Focus on Negative Experiences: Past failures can cause individuals to return to these memories and constantly question their capacities.
- Self-Treatment: Resorting to relaxation methods such as drugs, alcohol or overeating can exacerbate problems instead of solving them.
Breaking the Self-Sabotage Cycle
Self-sabotage is a situation that can be worked on when it is recognised. In order for individuals with ADHD to stop these behaviours, they must first understand their inner voices and the source of these voices.
- Develop Awareness: Recognising that you are self-sabotaging is the first step in breaking the cycle. For individuals with ADHD, it is of great importance to recognise the source of the echoing voices and when these voices are activated.
- Behavioural Therapies: Methods such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) are an effective tool for breaking negative thought patterns and developing more functional behaviours.
- Reframe Negative Beliefs: Challenge the negative voices echoing in your head. Reframing the thought ‘I can’t do this’ into ‘It may be hard to succeed, but it’s worth a try’ is a powerful step towards changing your behaviour.
- Set Small and Achievable Goals: Individuals with ADHD can often feel demotivated by big goals. Instead, focusing on smaller, concrete steps can increase motivation and prevent self-sabotage.
- Get Support: A coach, therapist, or support group can help you understand self-sabotage and manage these behaviours. ADHD coaches, in particular, can help the individual to handle this process more consciously. Research on ADHD coaching shows that this kind of support can make a significant difference in helping individuals achieve their goals.
Moving Beyond Self-Sabotage
Although ADHD brings with it many challenges, in the right perspective, this difference allows individuals to develop incredible creativity and problem-solving abilities. Individuals who recognise and overcome self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours can reach their full potential.
Remember: Self-sabotage can be the beginning of awareness, not the end. Like everyone else, individuals with ADHD have the power to overcome the obstacles they encounter on their own path. In this process, accepting your past experiences and learning from these experiences will enable you to rebuild your self-confidence.
Overcoming Self-Sabotage Is Possible
Self-sabotage can negatively affect the quality of life and success of individuals with ADHD. However, it is possible to overcome this behaviour with awareness, strategic steps and support. ADHD can be a feature that leads individuals to think differently and bring creative solutions to problems. Recognising self-sabotage and stopping these behaviours can help individuals with ADHD to be happier and more successful in their lives.
Instead of self-sabotage, you can choose to believe in your potential and take action to realise this potential. Remember, self-sabotage is just a habit, and like any habit, it can be changed.
